It’s a fantasy

It’s hard to pinpoint when it starts. In shimmering vampire skin under sunlight? Or before that when we were told the boy pulling our hair has a crush on us? Maybe it’s some ancient instinct harkening back to caveman days when the women were harvesting berries together whispering about the tall, dark, and handsome hunk of a caveman nearby. Either way, it seems a hallmark in heteronormative fantasy/romance books written by and marketed to women to romanticize the protective (possessive), strong (supernatural-y scary), and misunderstood (desperately needs therapy) male lead.

I didn’t really question it that much until my brother was on a kick of reading some recommendations from BookTok and complained about how toxic the romances are. For some reason hearing him say it hit me more because he clearly hadn’t internalized the same messages that I had. Any feminist can understand why the tropes are harmful but are mesmerized by the characters when it is played out in a fantasy setting. Damon Salvador from Vampire Diaries, Spike from Buffy, Tommy from Peaky Blinders, and I’d say even Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, as well as the more modern Rhys from Court of Thorns and Roses are scratching the surface of an endless cast of characters that have stolen hearts with their brooding. 

Pitied not Condemned   

The most sold book in the world is The Bible. Although this original text doesn’t mention Lucifer, or Satan, much, it is in Milton’s epic poem Paradise Lost, published in 1667, that the character of Satan is developed into a three-dimensional character. He is described as one of God’s favorite angels that fell out of grace who, disguised in the form of a serpent, successfully tempts Eve to eat from the Tree by preying on her vanity and tricking her. He is written as a complex and tragic figure who declares: “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven ” (1.263). Following his vain rebellion against God, he is cast out from Heaven and condemned to Hell. Satan argues that his shared rebellion with the fallen angels is an effort to “explain the hypocrisy of God’ ‘and in doing so, they will be treated with the respect and acknowledgement that they deserve. 

Lucifer, then, is the original bad boy. He has daddy issues, uses morally gray means in the pursuit of freedom from the omnipresent power, and probably wears black. Our understanding of him shows that even someone who is supposed to be evil incarnate is hard not to empathize with when the reader is given more of the why’s. He ultimately goes against the grain for a purpose, in fact, it is used as a way to contrast the “good” characters as either naive (Adam & Eve) or intentionally manipulative (God). In human nature, we all have sins whether it is lust, jealousy, pride, etc. and removing those takes us further away from the “saintly” characters because without faults they feel more one-dimensional and less human as if they are placed like a pawn on the chess board rather than having free-will, something the more sinister characters regularly practice. In this way, the bad boy can offer the reader and protagonist a sense of freedom from the expectations of others by transgressing societal norms. 

In earlier movies, the bad boy (normally starring James Dean, or other variations of men wearing white undershirts) is usually paired up with the “good girl”. He is charismatic, attractive, and dangerous. His backstory serves to excuse his behavior and takes away some of the personal responsibility for his actions by painting them tragic instead of villainous. The bad boy toes the line of being irredeemable by having a hidden reserve of good inside that keeps him from just being an asshole. The audience can watch, enraptured by his possible redemption through love of a good girl who cares enough to try and fix him. A modern example is Rory from Gilmore Girls, who hopes to be a good influence on Jess despite his emotional unavailability. This fairy tale trope of Beauty and the Beast where Belle is able to transform the aggressive monster that has captured her into a prince through patience can be damaging. The reality is when people show you who they are, believe them because they do not want to be salvaged and you can be waiting forever. 

Ladies and Gentlemen 

What makes this archetype so alluring? The answers lie beneath the leather jackets: these stories take the dramatized but lived experience of being a woman and make it an epic romance. I don’t think that there is a woman out there without trauma surrounding her personal safety. Our whole lives we are aware and shown ways in which our bodily autonomy is threatened. When getting harassed we quickly learn that saying “I have a boyfriend” is more effective than “no.” These hyper masculine characters offer protection from other men. The trope of the love interest tearing apart the earth to make sure that the heroine of the story isn’t harmed is the writer seductively waving the idea of protection under our noses. This is not because she isn’t powerful or independent, but if she falls he is there to catch her because he wouldn’t want to lose her.

What makes this archetype so alluring? The answers lie beneath the leather jackets: these stories take the dramatized but lived experience of being a woman and make it an epic romance.

Unfortunately,  if young women buy into the desire for a strong protector, it can become easier to excuse toxic behavior by mistaking violence and control for caring responses. Think of how many times a girl friend of ours will sigh and say something atrocious a man has done to her followed by something about how the chemistry is off the walls though. The other friends will laugh and follow up with their own stories. In general it’s understood that the extremes in the fantasies of books that leave us blushing are not tolerated in real life, but it is still worth wondering why they are in fiction. God forbid we let men with podcasts preaching about men being “alphas” to attract women think they got it right because it is actually the opposite. Although on the surface, readers could see the man’s display of strength shown in moments of necessity as the attractive trait that is consistent with the bad boy, it is actually used as a device to make the moments of gentleness more impactful.  I think being called gentle is one of the best compliments a man can get (this has made me rethink the term gentleman) and this is when the readers fall for the character. Depending on the character, though, this gentleness is sometimes only shown to the good girl in the story. 

Here comes the other fantasy aspect of this – she feels special. We all want to feel seen and understood. In the first few chapters, our heroine is a nobody coming from a small town, with a surly personality yet the handsome stranger finds her desirable, seeing her in a way that others don’t, until the metaphorical glasses come off. Throughout the book she goes through some events and inner reflection until other people–but most importantly she herself–sees her true value. Through fate though she finds her “soulmate” that looked at her and just knows. Even if they argue for three days on a trail and make it to an inn where they have to share a room — the tension is not unsettling but building. There is something cosmically assuring that they are meant to be even when things get difficult they make a good team. 

Drama  

So what makes the bad boy so good? It is a trope that has lasted a really long time because ultimately, people like it. The romanticization of “raising the stakes” in fiction is exciting. Our hypothetical crushes can sweep us off the page with crooked smiles and twisted fates but when the pages close and we are transported back to reality it ends.  Men who are possessive are not secretly sensitive souls and we can leave it where it belongs- in fantasy. 

Dreaming of fictional worlds, Julia